


The English Language

by dreamsweep



Category: Free!
Genre: Bad English, Gen, I apologize for nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-13
Updated: 2013-09-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 10:58:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsweep/pseuds/dreamsweep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto, Nagisa and Haruka are practicing their English when they decide that they need help and call Rin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The English Language

**Author's Note:**

> First fic on Ao3... So this was based off of some prompt I saw on tumblr and then never actually faced… there's been a lot of prompts similar and shit, so yeah. Short fic. Enjoy! Feel free to give you opinions or crits.
> 
> Pretend they're all speaking in Japanese and the words in italics are said in English.

"I've been reading a book in English and it's really good, Haru-chan. It's not like I understand everything, but it's really interesting! Learning English is useful and fun!"

"Yeah right," Haruka rolled his eyes. "I don't need to read books in English."

Nagisa was way too excited about some stupid language, as usual. It wasn't like Haruka was ever going to use it. Tourists were stupid and it wasn't like he wanted to read a lot of books, anyway. Or leave Japan, for that matter. He didn't know why the school made him take the stupid class, anyway.

"Rin speaks English." Makoto said from across the table, not looking up from his homework. Haruka just lowered his eyes.

"I hardly speak to Rin as it is. It's not like I'm going to speak to him in English." Haruka scoffed, not looking at Makoto. "Plus, he's not very good. He said so himself."

"Yeah, but he's good enough that he wouldn't be failing, like you are." Nagisa cracked, and Haruka just ignored him.

Makoto looked up from his work and put his pencil down, looking over to where Haruka was laying on his back. "Come on, Haruka. I brought Nagisa over so that we could finish this English and get on with things. It won't be hard if you just try-"

Haruka immediately interrupted, not even looking at Makoto. "We're wasting good daylight. We could be swimming."

"Yes, but if you don't pass English, the school won't let you swim." Makoto pegged. He had finally caught Haruka's attention, the other boy looking directly at him. "So come on."

"Fine." He said, getting up and joining Makoto at the table where he had the homework splayed out on the table. "Whatever."

"If you're gonna learn English, let's start with fun words!" Nagisa shouted, banging his hands on the table excitedly. "Words like _happy_ and _excited_ and _orgasm_!"

"Uh, I think we should stick to the homework…" Makoto trailed, but his voice was quickly overpowered.

" _Orgasm_? I've never heard that word before." Haruka asked, a little confused. "What does it mean?"

"It means like… really happy! Like, something that makes you have a lot of intense pleasure!" Nagisa was smiling wildly, gesturing in the air with his hands. "Yeah! My sisters told me that one, and it's in the book I'm reading, too! There's a lot of really happy moments in my book!"

"English people are so stupid they can't even feel other emotions…" Haruka joked, a little to himself.

"What, it's not like you don't feel things like an _orgasm_? Like when you swim, you feel an _orgasm_?"

Haruka looked at Makoto, and the green eyes gave him a slight smile as he thought it over. Water was one of the things in his life that made him really happy, but he wasn't happy all the time like those English people.

"I know that English people have more than just happy emotions, Haru. I mean, look at Rin." Makoto said, looking back towards Nagisa, who was beaming from sharing his knowledge of English.

"Rin's not English."

"But he lived with English people!" Nagisa exclaimed, trying to bring Haruka up from his cynicism.

"Why don't we call Rin and ask him? I'm sure he could help us with the English, too." Makoto said, pulling out his phone. Haruka just shrugged. He really didn't want to have to do anything with Rin, but it wasn't like he was going to stop Makoto.

Makoto dialed the number in his phone and put it on speaker, pushing the phone in the center of the table. It rang three times before a groggy "Whatdoyouwant" came from the line.

"Rin! Hi! It's Makoto!" He said, leaning his elbows into the table.

"I know that, I have caller I.D." Rin scoffed, sounding as if he was laying down. "What do you want?"

"Uh, well…" Makoto swallowed, and Nagisa quickly rang in.

"We're doing English and Haru wants to know if English people feel emotions."

"Nagisa?" Rin asked, but then quickly switched his tone to answer. "Of course English-speaking people have emotions, dumbasses. All people do."

"But are English people only _excited_?" Haruka finally said, leaning on the table like the others. "Do English people only feel an _orgasm_?"

"What?!? What are you talking about?!?" Rin exclaimed, his voice cracking. "Why are you asking me about _orgasms_??? Is this some kind of joke?"

There was a small silence and Haruka and Makoto looked at each other blankly.

"No, Rin!" Nagisa laughed, trying to clarify. " Haruka just wants to know if English people only stay _excited_ all the time and feel an _orgasm_."

Haruka failed to see how Nagisa had explained that any better than he had, but he stayed quiet. The line was silent for a little longer than expected, and Makoto looked like he was about to speak, but suddenly Rin started chuckling over the phone.

"Rin…?" Makoto asked, and he started to laugh.

"You guys have no idea what that word means, do you?"

"What, _orgasm_?" Haruka asked, his brow knit in frustration. He was almost offended. "Yes we do."

"Yeah, it means 'sense of extreme pleasure'…" Nagisa said happily, making Rin laugh more. "As in, When Haru swims, he feels an _orgasm_."

"Dude, that's gross." Rin said, and only a split second later he busted out laughing, the speaker on the phone giving incredibly loud feedback from the noise. Rin kept laughing and laughing… he was laughing for a good few minutes, every once in a while shouting, " _OH MY FUCKING GOD!_ " in English, beyond hysterical.

"What's so funny???" Nagisa asked, obviously frustrated. Haruka just seemed mad, staying silent.

"Rin - are you okay…?" Makoto asked, watching the phone.

The laughter went on for another minute or so before Rin finally seemed to catch his breath. " _Orgasm_ means cumming… as in sexually." Rin said between laughs, as he finally started to calm down. "Like, the climax when you have sex…"

"HUH?" All three boys said in unison, and Haruka's face suddenly turned beet red.

"So you just said…" Rin was still laughing pretty hard, trying to talk. "So you just said that Haru cums in the pool when he swims…" Both Nagisa and Makoto immediately looked at Haruka, and the boy's face was so red and hot he swore he might just die.

" _Oh my god_ , I would fucking LOVE to see your faces right now!" Rin was still absolutely in hysterics, bubbles of laughter popping up every few seconds. "Haruka cumming in the pool… Haruka having a boner for the pool… fucking classic! I'm going to have to remember that…"

"I… I don't…" Haru said silently, and Makoto looked away to the wall instantly, his own face incredibly red. Only Nagisa was starting to giggle between the other boys.

" _Oh my god_ , you fuckers slay me. PLEASE, the next time you study English, please fucking call me." Rin's laughing was slowly dying down. " _Oh my god_. Have an _orgasmic_ day, losers!"

The phone went blank as Rin hung up, and only Nagisa was left with a small giggle, the two other boys hushed in embarrassment.

Makoto cleared his throat, his cheeks still flushed with embarrassment.

"Maybe we should move on to math."

**Author's Note:**

> obviously the book Nagisa has been reading is filthy. Surprise surprise!


End file.
